The Website That Took Ten Years

The Website That Took Ten Years

Welcome to my website. My first website. It only took 10 years.

Now, I can start by making the excuse that I didn't have the time, but 10 years is quite a while to be too busy to build a website. And I tried. I can't remember the number of times I tried. At one point I even started a petition against myself. I asked people to sign, stating they agreed I should get my act together and finally build that online portfolio.

A lot of people signed, four years ago.

Sitting down to write this, on the verge of releasing my website, I still don't believe it's going to happen. But you're reading this, so it must be true.

You might look around this website and not be too impressed with me. This is what I came up with after all that time? Well, let me tell you this isn't a website built with skill, but with exasperation.

After 10 years I am finally so fed up with myself that I decided anything would do. Even this, a website that I didn't design (it was made with Notion) and where you can't find all that much. Just a few of the projects I did and some, obviously hurried blog posts.

Yet, I still couldn't wait to get this website live.

Why? Because all these years I've been telling myself something would happen if and when I got a website. Although I've been doing some pretty cool stuff over the past 10 years I made myself believe that when this website would go live I could finally start a real career. Like one that grownups have.

Now I have a website, I can get my LinkedIn in order, I can blog on Medium, I can list myself as available for work on Upwork, Dribbble, Fiverr. This website is a magical door into a fairyland of possibilities – with this website my professional life will catapult from great to unbelievable.

Any psych major worth their salt will immediately point out this is a self-sabotaging belief of the purest sort. The kind of thinking – 'If ... then I can finally ...' – only meant to reduce the pain of failure, or more so, inaction. Because as long as I don't invest any time in a website I can then tell myself that, of course, it's okay I don't do x, y, z (whatever brilliant career moves I have in mind) – I don't have a website yet.

And this bullshit has been going on for 10 years now.

Today I say, enough is enough.

So, here is my website. It might not look like much, but it's a huge deal. It's an end to the age of excuses. An end to self-sabotaging. I'm sure it will hurt a little, I have but a fragile ego, but I'm sure I will come out the other end alive.

Here's to hoping.

Enjoy my website and while you're at it, sign up for a newsletter that I will send out whenever I stop making excuses. Don't hold your breath.